Journal Day

That's right. It's journal day. What's the topic for today?

If you had a free pass to go back and change anything in your past, with the promise that it would only affect you positively, would you do it? And if so, what would you change?

What could I change? I'm a believer in no regrets and that everything that has happened has gotten me to this point. If I really had to pick, I would choose to speak my mind, not in any specific instant, but just in general.  I was always quite shy and timid.  I know it's hard to believe, but it was so bad that I would go to the nurse's office with "an upset stomach" if a boy tried to talk to me in class.  I was afraid of saying "the wrong thing" or looking like an idiot.  Even though I was an honor student and usually knew the right answers, I never raised my hand because I feared speaking in front of the class.

Until recently, I never knew the joy of speaking my mind.  I have learned that you need to stand up for what you believe, say what you feel, and be honest.  I have always been a peacemaker and despised conflict.  Partially I believe that's why I kept quite.  Thoughts and opinions of others had also kept me from opening up.

Enough is enough, I proclaimed!  My opinions are worth speaking.  My feelings are worth hearing.  And my knowledge is worth learning.  I am a very passionate person and to keep my thoughts inside is almost an oxy moron.  Why keep all of it to myself?

How do I believe that speaking up would have changed things?  I believe that everyone is the master of their own fate.  Speaking up and expressing myself could have allowed for more or better opportunities.  Life is what you make it.  Fear of retribution or negativity wouldn't be an issue.  I would be able to grow into myself a lot faster.  C'est la vie!

As I stated previously, I don't have regrets or necessarily want to change anything in my past.  Although it took a while for me to learn that it's ok to speak up, I'm happy and grateful that I learned it at all.

What would you change?